08 December 2005

Hints To Beat The Holiday Blues...Or Not

The following is some stuff we got from Corporate about beating the 'Holiday Blues'. I know they mean well, but I just had to take a few swipes [in bold/brackets].

  • Keep expectations for the holiday season manageable. Try to set realistic goals for yourself. Pace yourself. Organize your time. Make a list and prioritize the important activities. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Do not put entire focus on just one day (i.e., Thanksgiving Day) remember it is a season of holiday sentiment and activities can be spread out (time-wise) to lessen stress and increase enjoyment. [Make a list? Organize my time? Set goals? Cripes, that sounds like work. Some holiday it would be, having to do all that...]
  • Remember the holiday season does not banish reasons for feeling sad or lonely; there is room for these feelings to be present, even if the person chooses not to express them. [What?! You've got to be kidding. I thought everybody is suddenly filled with cheer around the holidays. See: Scrooge, Ebenezer]
  • Leave “yesteryear” in the past and look toward the future. Life brings changes. Each season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way. Don’t set yourself up in comparing today with the “good ol’ days.” [Yeah, but last Christmas I got a puppy. No way does it get better than that.]
  • Do something for someone else. Try volunteering some time to help others. [Hm...I'm depressed, so I think I'll go help out at a soup kitchen to see more depressed people. Maybe I'll feel better knowing I'm better off than they are...]
  • Enjoy activities that are free, such as driving around to look at holiday decorations; going window shopping without buying; making a snowperson with children. [Have you seen gas prices? Since when is driving around "free"? And don't get me started on making a 'snowperson' in Portland. Now I'm all depressed that there isn't any snow on the ground at my house. Nice going.]
  • Be aware that excessive drinking will only increase your feelings of depression. [That's funny, I usually feel better when I've had a lot of beer.]
  • Try something new. Celebrate the holidays in a new way. [What, like the Kranks were going to? Maybe I'm depressed because I can't afford a tropical Christmas vacation...]
  • Spend time with supportive and caring people. Reach out and make new friends or contact someone you have not heard from for awhile. [Right, because that always works in the movies. What if there was a good reason you haven't heard from someone in a while? I guess you're hosed, go have a beer.]
  • Save time for yourself! Recharge your batteries! Let others share responsibility of activities. ["Me time" - I like it. Right after I get to all the volunteering and reaching out and spending time with caring and supportive people, then the snowperson building and window shopping. Share the responsibility? Right. Nobody has that lazy relative that you can't get to lift a finger, but complains all the time about how bad your food is or that your house is too cold...]


PseudoIntellect said...

Do the corporate stiffs ever stop to think about the resources wasted on gibberish like this? My company sent something similar, too.

Has anyone ever said: "I was going to commit suicide, but I remembered my Company Holiday message about realistic expectations and the dangers of alcohol. Thank heavens they showed me they care!"?

I guess it makes them feel better about themselves...

Ho Ho Ho

Ghost Dog said...

That'll be what saves George Bailey in the remake of "It's a Wonderful Life" - his company holiday message.

As the poet, philosopher, and scholar Gumby once said, "Merry Christmas, dammit!"

PseudoIntellect said...

I have actually pondered this company message thing and I now believe that the "people upstairs" are that out of touch with reality. They actually think they are showing us they care!

Happy Kwanza...

Ghost Dog said...

I refer to them still as I did in the Army: "Echelons Above Reality".

Robert Paulson said...

I currently refer to those echelons as "The Puzzle Palace."

Nice list of PC garbage; makes me want to kill.

PseudoIntellect said...

Kill Nestle, kill! Surpressing the urge makes you rational, acting on it makes you famous!